How can I improve this? English describing beach.?
To me this first part of my english sounds terrible. please give helpful advice:
the sun bled across the sky- orange and yellow running across the horizon like a split egg yolk. the violet sky cast a malevolent glow over the churning waters as it swept across the neverending sand marking the battleground between land and sea. the tides determined to advance, white foam rose upwards snatching the now long forgotten sandcastle, washing away all the signs of the childrens effort as the shadows crept over the land.
You came to the right place, the internet is crawling with grammar NAZIs. Use a colon or semi colon instead of a dash, dashes are used as parenthesis , like brackets, not to introduce a list. There should be an apostrophe in "children's". other than those minor technical issues, sound description! I like the use of battleground imagery between the sea and the sand, creates a nice picture of the land fighting the ocean as the waves crash forwards and backwards...
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